Winter Olympics of 2010

Wow, this year has been a year of firsts and broken records! Although I don't get into "curling" or "hockey", many of the other activities in these winter sports I love! Shawn White, is and always will be one of my favorite athletes, but then I like snowboarding. I just wish the women were as exciting to watch as the men. They did well, don't get me wrong, but there just seemed to be some "holding back" in their routines. Maybe that's just me. The new move Shawn White put to the world, was at best, AWESOME! He's got really cute parents.

American Bode Miller has won me over like a new beau, finally convincing me he's for real! You know, I play with that slalom skiing on my Wii and I don't find it all that easy to miss the flags when you get speed going, so "oh well" he still has how many metals? The most by any man in Alpine skiing, right? Let's don't discount the other U.S. medals in Alpine skiing at Vancouver either.

Despite the contraversy over Lysacek, I think he's outstanding. I didn't miss the advanced moves he left out, although I can sorta get the point. Get it? I really thought all the skaters did really well. Men and women. The ice dancing team of Davis and White blew me away with their "Indian" style routine. I selfishly believe they should have won the Gold instead of the Canadian team. Honestly, I thought the Canadian team was a little boring. Rochette's personal tragedy didn't take from her skating and I cried huge crocodile tears when she finished that first night and then started crying herself. Apollo Ohno is in a world of his own, and is such great fun to watch racing. It's fascinating to listen to his Dad talk.

I was particularly surprised at the soap opera like tiffs that have occurred, like its a beauty pagent or fashion runway show. I know that they occur most everywhere, but you don't always hear about them. With twitter and Facebook though, it's hard to keep anything from the public these days. Oh, and I'm sure the press had a great time with it. I really like Lindsey Vonn. I liked Mancuso too. I was however, a little disappointed at Mancuso's pettiness. *sigh* The women have done really well in the Alpine too. It did annoy me that the television presentations were delayed to public viewing because twitter and facebook postings spoiled the winner news!

All in all, I think this has been a great year for the Winter Olympics and I will certainly miss the coverage and anticipation to see the coverage after it is all done and gone. I think the colors this year are very soothing and have the ability of drawing one in. I keep looking on the NBC Olympic website and thinking about one of those jackets or shirts that have that tranquil blue and green. Yes, I will miss the beautiful, healthy, smiling young athletes that grace the screen and make my life all warm and fuzzy for a short time every night!

What the hell?

Sometimes I think I have the mark of the beast on my forehead. One of my friends told me today that I should write a book and call it "I've been screwed by Everybody!" Some people might say I'm complaining, but I prefer to think that I want to enjoy my life just that much more than the average person, and they get jealous. Then I get screwed. But, then there's the occasional legal issues with some gov't agency thinking that maybe I should pay more than I was originally asked to. That perhaps somewhere I'm hiding money. That generally happens more often because I try to live in a really secure, clean neighborhood. Stupid me, I know damn well I'm not suppose to live here, especially if I'm poor. Oh, and I'm single, which means I will also chase your man, and steal your money, and I'm psychotic, or better yet, over sexed, so you can't be seen with me, and by the way, you'd be better off working for another company. Women hate me. So begins the usual weeks of proving the legitamacy of my financial standings and the necessity of my behaviour through hours of horrified conversations with my mother and other such "sheltered" individuals who just can't believe bad things happen to me while still never really offering me a solution, except to say that it must be my fault somehow.

The world of "that's just not right" is a place I want to be!

Did you ever think that at some point, you would be sitting and staring into space and grasping the reality of your aloneness? That even though you at one time lived with two parents and siblings and then you were married with children, all in blissful contentment, that you would wake up to the sad lack of evidence to that now?The bills come due, the work isn't there, the car breaks down, you have to walk and some bum takes your purse and you have to alert the bank and cancel your debit card, and the microwave burns the only dinner you had left (while simultaneously remembering how much your ex-husband use to spend for those glorious meals he just had to have), you're getting fat because you're too depressed to get to the gym, and you're not dating anyone, so there's no sex, and suddenly you think about how good you once had it and you want your life back, like NOW, and your princess mode goes into overload and you start crying. Oh yes, girlfriend, I have been there!

So now I'm angry and ready to take on the world, while still crying, and the phone rings, so I have to pick it up, and it's my son, and I'm excusing my voice to a stuffy nose and listening to the discussion of Hollywood life and saying how great his life sounds and how I'll talk to him again soon, while he is across the country and grown up and unaware of what's haunting me.

Maybe I just need to get laid.

My Art Sustains Me

Today is being graced with another snow avalanche. One of my friends called it the "white death". I gave up on the idea of driving out to do some errands, and instead covered the car and shoveled the drive and came on inside. There's an old run of "V" on the sci fi channel, I'm guessing because the new season is about to begin. I find it absolutely fascinating that the leader is an "evil" female! I've pulled out the old scrapbooks and I'm surveying the pictures of my artwork. I've been drawing ever since I can remember. To hear my mother tell the story, I was drawing pictures at 5 years old that were amazingly realistic and accurate. I make a slight chuckle to myself, because, somewhere along the way, I drifted over into the realm of Picasso and certain other impressionistic artists, and then focused on Art Nouveau for awhile. Each of the periods I have studied and obsessed on seemed to be the easiest for me to achieve. Instant gratification being what it is. At least, with such an ability, I could create a large number of drawings, instead of just one very difficult drawing.


It was generally out of self preservation that I took pen or pencil to hand. My father use to make us go on long car trips every weekend. Or so it seemed. I guess it made sense because he was always working or going to school. It was easy to pack everyone up and go to his mother's house and get pampered while we could play with our cousins. It was probably hardest on my Mom dealing with all of it. My brothers were always playing games or fighting, and even though I didn't have earplugs, I would block everything out by creating my own world with paper and pencil, or pen and crayons. That is how it began. Any time I needed to escape, or felt restless or felt insecure, I would draw. Drawing was something I could control. I love creating beauty. Creating something beautiful has a calming effect on me. That desire, that practice, has never left me.

When it came time to go to college, the obvious choice for me was Art. But, my father refused to pay for an Art degree. So, I quit college, ran away with a new lover and got married, got pregnant and moved out-of-state all within a few months time. I don't recommend such rash and unthinking behavior to anyone!

I am enjoying going through my inventory and organizing what I have horded over the years. I'm thinking I will sell everything I can, give some pieces away to good homes and keep some of my favorites. I want to start some new work and I'm tired of hauling extra stuff every time I move, or trying to find storage space for all of it. When one is "emerging" into a style, they participate in any number of "showings" and "festivals" in order to get the work out there. I definitely have done that, and have some clippings in my scrapbook to prove it. Maybe I'll go back to school and take Art.

Valentines' Day 2010

Geeze, I open my computer to postings of newly broken up females talking about the weirdness of being single today. I've been single so long I don't care any more. Valentine's Day has never been a particularly important day for me, EVER. I think its too sappy and too commercial. But, I would never forget to call my Mom or my BFFs on this day. And, when my son sends me messages of love, I melt like butter because he's a MALE and he's my child! The news right now is talking about a couple who is about to break the record for the longest married couple ever Together 86 years! You can even twitter them for advice today! Now that is cute. Really. How many of us wouldn't give for that kind of relationship?! I'm all for actually having a relationship rather than worrying about getting something for Valentine's Day. Although, I can vaguely remember after being MARRIED for awhile, it was nice to stop the madness for a day and use something as an excuse to express our love. In that respect, I humbly bow to anyone I've already insulted regarding this day.

My most important day is my birthday. You miss that one and I will be crushed.

Dannica Patrick crashed yesterday and as I expected, ended the race early. But I will be watching the Daytona 500 today. Now THAT would be a Valentine's Day present, being at Daytona, or even more, RIDING SHOTGUN. WHoo Hoo! I've rode shotgun before, (no snide remarks from my male friends allowed) but never at that kind of speed. Tony Stewart says it's a death wish. Tony Stewart won today. AND, sadly, the token FEMALE didn't make it through the race, BUT, in the Winter Olympics, we had a gold taken by skier Hannah Kearny. Hannah is my hero today.

My roommate got me a box of chocolates, but I am suspicious of people giving gifts when they have a friend flying in to stay for a week. It's another one of those "I have to do this because it's Valentine's Day and she's a she" gift. Something I use to get furious about because I considered it an insult to get candy that I didn't really need to eat, from someone I didn't have an intimate relationship with. But then I decided chocolate was quite okay, and kind hearted people aren't to be taken for granted. So, I will be descending on that box of chocolates at some point today!

I happily spent last evening with an organization next to my heart, MadLab Theater, and a number of my long time male "friends". Men who's lives have weaved in and around mine for one reason or another in those same years. It was a hugely satisfying evening of laughter, hugs, social energy and nasty thoughts.

Thank you St. Valentine!

Daytona 500 2010

When I was in high school my best friend and I would create similar outfits and wear them at the same time. I guess that made us a little cheesy. But, every Friday night we would take forever getting dressed and doing our hair just so we could go out to the local bar and beat the boys at pool, while simultaneously flirting with them. And although we could be TOTAL girls, make no mistake, we could punch you out with little effort if you gave us a reason. One of the most popular offenses: flirting with another girl, or buying her a drink or touching her. Oh, we could flirt all we wanted to, but you, if you were our steady, could not! We thought we knew how to control ourselves much better than you. That being the case, we also felt we could be total bad ass drivers. Actually, we lived only 20 miles from Charlotte, N.C. and EVERYONE was into cars and driving! I learned a lot about cars during those days. As soon as we were able to obtain a driver's license, we started saving for our cars. Our very first job was at a carwash, and it may sound funny, but it was a really FUN job! Co-ed employee situation, outside, playing with cars. Lots of towel popping, water fights, and laughing! But we also took pride in our work, seeing who could grab the best cars and acquire the best tips! At some point when we past that first year of parental worries, we started going to the race track every Sunday and racing our cars. My BF and I were determined to beat anyone we could. Be the best. Our boyfriends would get stuck taking care of our cars and repairing them if we blew something. FUN TIMES. To this day NASCAR racing is a huge part of her and her son's life, and me, I don't follow every race, but almost every major relationship I've had included car racing of some kind, so I have stayed on the outside fringes. My ex-husband taught me how to get the most out of a Porsche 914 and when we met, he owned a bad ass Roadrunner. I attend MOPAR Nationals from time to time. Lots of good looking men at car races! TOMORROW, DANICA PATRICK is going to get onto the Daytona 500 track, and I will be watching and cheering her on. FOR ALL MY GIRLS and for MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER! AND on Sunday it's the annual Daytona 500 race, so I'll be watching and reliving that rush, and maybe having a piece of Lemon Meringue pie.

911 Photos Released

They are releasing photos of the 911 bombing and as I watch shots on Fox News, I remember clearly the events of that day. The day my faith in flying was completely destroyed. Since that day, I've only been on two plane trips. The second occurring just this Christmas and being marred by the Christmas Day Bomber or Underwear Bomber or stupid terrorist wanna be that attempted to blow up a plane. I was lucky I had flown two days earlier.

On 911 I was working an assignment across from a U.S. Air Force Base. I had gone into work early that day and was planning to leave around 3 PM. But on break, I walked into the employee lounge and froze in my tracks at what I saw on the television. An announcement was being made that a plane had hit one of the twin towers. Smoke was everywhere. It was actually the first plane, but we didn't know that yet. Stunned, I thought it was just a tragic accident of some kind. Work didn't actually stop, but everyone was talking and sneaking peaks. But then, the second plane hit, and everything came to a halt. Everyone moved to the t.v. and turned on radios as the news was announcing possible terroism. We watched in horrer and disbelief. People were shaking and crying.

We were in a high security facility anyway, always locked in. But, it wasn't a bomb shelter. Evacuation suggestions were given and sirens started going off. The airport was shut down, air traffic all over the U.S. was stopped. We were told to go home immediately and go for safety. As I drove home, it reminded of the days of my childhood in Florida, when the Cuban missile crisis kept everyone on edge. I remember that for a number of years, we learned in school about bomb shelters and how to run for cover. Scary stuff. I thought America was past all that. How arrogant we had become. My son was not with me that day, but he was with his father, and as I made the call, I knew that if I needed to go to them, I could.

Those pictures. Those people killed. The movie of what happened on the plane. The audio clips from the passengers, the emails, the text messages. All of it brings a tear to my eye every time I remember. What if it had been me? What if it had been someone I loved? I don't know if I could have handled the situation as graciously as they seem to. I panic in a big way when I lose control over what is happening with my body. I cannot imagine knowing that I was going to die at any moment. Watching the plane head right into that tower, or being on the later plane knowing it would not land.

I hope there is a heaven, and I hope those people made it there.

Snow Dog and Friends

There's just no convincing a dog he NEEDS to go outside when it's a wind chill of -4 and the snow is coming down. He's not stupid, he can see that stuff fallin'. Nevertheless, since I myself have a problem feeling good if I don't "lighten up" at least once a day, I get neutotic when he doesn't make the grade. I dress him up in his little sweater and put his harness on and coax him to take a walk, but 1/2 hour and two blocks later, he's more than ready to get inside. This is the third straight day of snow, and I've shoveled snow a number of times to try and keep up with leaving a running path around the house and to the back and front door. But, alas, with ice on his cute little moustache and all over his little hairy feet, he looks at me with wimpering eyes and I succomb to giving up. He will eventually give in.

Today the school's are all closed and not too many people are running around, I was hoping to carry out a few errands in the city this week, but all this snow has slowed down my progress. So I'm moving forward on other options.

Here's a little short I found in my archives. I share it's wisdom with YOU:

People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME. When you know which one is is, you will know what to do for that person.

"When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, mentally or spiritually. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person may bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that their work is done, your needs were met, now its time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow and learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But, only for a SEASON.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lesson. Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, put what you've learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Whether one is a REASON, SEASON or LIFETIME, the soul of the world is LOVE. Thank you for being in my life"

Babies of 2010

Today I can see the sun, although I'm being blinded by the massive mounds of snow everywhere. Yet, I am grateful for a day of getting some outdoor time. You know, now that I have a dog, I get even more pissed at people who let their dogs run off leash in the city. Don't people WATCH "DOG WHISPERER" ? SO I end up having to defend my own little pooch from a charging dog off leash. Meh, it probably is because I haven't been able to make up my mind if I'm going to breed mine or not and therefore I haven't had him fixed yet. *sigh* AND I know that the puppy in him will finally start subsiding and I won't have as much fun any more. Selfish, I know.

Before the walk I spent at least 1/2 hour on Facebook chatting about a new baby about to be born in my circle of friends. Laughing at the e-cards being sent while she updates her status every few minutes with what's going on. Her hubby sending a last note " we're in for the long haul y'all" which apparently means being induced doesn't make it faster! I remember being induced, but I was two weeks late, according to the doctor's calculations, and after several episodes of running around the block, and a false alarm, they popped a pill under my upper lip. The worst part was soaking my baby's father when my water burst. See, I was sitting up to hold down the pain, and he was sitting in a chair in front of me. Poor guy. Even worse, a few hours later when the baby was wheeled away, I started scarfing down a plate of fried chicken right in front of him. I still remember the tired and whipped look on his face. He went home to rest. Any whoo, no word yet on that baby.

There is no way to deny the complete terror I lived in after my divorce. I was a spoiled young girl and believed our love was forever. I was a young mother. My son empowered me. He gave me purpose and inspiration. I'm still trying to understand how I went from the great MUSE of a man's life to a horrible disease. Every time I witness a child's birth, I know that couple is as happy as we were and it's bittersweet confusion. Still, happiness is contagious and I can't help jumping into the celebration with two people in love!

As if I didn't feel odd enough, my ex-boyfriend calls my roommate out to meet his new little son. The second child actually. Then, of course, I receive way too much information on my roommates return home.

Now I'm trying to gear my mind to do a little more on a website design so that I can get that up and running. I'm hoping I can be so very busy starting soon that I can get away from all this extra "stuff" I don't need! I bet I do a little video editing instead because that's more fun and I need some escape!

At the Ski Lodge 2.05.2010

Well, going up to the ski lodge was certainly a fun adventure. I LOVED watching the cute young boys running up and down the slopes on snowboards! It was cold, and a winter storm blew in before we were in the jeep driving home. We made a little stop at an Amish restaurant, and although I thought the buffet looked pretty good, it turned out to be mostly processed items, not fresh, except for the lettuce and chopped veggies on the salad bar oh, and the homemade fried chicken. I can't take the sodium in processed food, so it wasn't long after I started to get a headache.

The storm was nasty, and made the drive a little scary. But two hours later, I was home soaking in a hot bath and trying to decide what I could do for the rest of the evening. My car was buried in snow, and I didn't exactly feel like digging it out! On such nights, I dream of living elsewhere. I'm pretty sick of snow and cold for five months out of the year. I took some video while out at the ski lodge, so I proceeded to create a little movie to upload on YouTube for all my friends to see. This will take a little while. Later

Buckle My Shoe

9 AM and I am working away at today's long list of gotta get this done projects.

1, 2 Buckle my shoe
3,4 Shut the door
5,6 Pick up sticks
7,8 Lay them straight

(I wish)

I NEED SIMPLICITY !

As many other people, I'm waiting the arrival of promised tax documents so that I can see if I can squeeze a little more room between me and Uncle Sam again this year. I have to get my FASFA done, and I have an interview to TALK, just talk, about getting my Master's Degree. I would love to be able to boast a Doctorate degree like my father, but then again I would love to be an actual Doctor, but I cringe at the thought of all that school. Maybe I'll just get another certificate in something. These are decisions I must make, in the meantime, I am rewriting my resume and updating my online job sites, while simulaneously updating my Facebook, Myspace, Classmates and YouTube. It just all seems related and necessary. Then, the PHONE RINGS.

I'm foolishing hoping it's a project manager calling me with a new work order, but I'm greeted with a heavy sigh and a drawn out "hell-ooooooooo" Uh-Oh. I can never quite feel sorry for someone who has a trust fund, or early retirement or endowment and still somehow finds a reason to complain. I mean, this girl's monthly income WITHOUT her current job is more than enough for her to live on. But then, she wouldn't be able to use her credit cards or play the way she wants to. I totally understand the choice to work for additional money, without it, we can't get ahead of the game, but some people's methods are not quite "right" in my book.

As I took a deep breath, I politely reminded her that she had already worked out a deal for herself. (It's technically money she WANTS, not money she needs, so this whole conversation is starting to get to me). Hearing the tension in my voice, she says she's heading out for work. Maybe there is a problem, but some habits are expensive and all consuming. I suddenly decide it would be best to put it all on the back burner. I'll be here, living my life, you can live yours.

PEACE OUT

Changing the Humane

I think people can become feral, just like animals. Don't you? Fighting for food, clothing, attention or a place to live, to live SAFE. Facing greed and deprivation. Coping with extreme weather. Transforming from peaceful creatures into vicious stray animals. The Blood Lust. (Sounds like my vampire movies)

But seriously, life should be better than the stench that marks a spot, or politically correct laws that accomplish nothing. RIGHT? So why is it that over compensation has become the norm? Why do some leaders encourage employee abuse?

I'm recording from a vinyl called "Wake Up" by Danse Society to put on a CD for a girlfriend of mine. The music is somewhat "Dark" which I can't deny fits my current mood. Outside its not exactly a day of sunny thoughts either.

The President, the Democrats, the Progressives and the Republicans are scaring the crap out of me. As if it isn't bad enough that large numbers of people are already struggling for just a little "piece", including myself, but even that is being threatened by this MESS they are creating! The inequities are growing stronger. Greed, deprivation and the beginning of feral animals!

If only we could be young and oblivious forever! Take me back to the days of continuous Barbie or G.I. Joe combats. Chinese checkers. Baseball down in the park. We may never be able to return to those blissful days as we wont be able to AFFORD to. We will become consumed with working and play will be left behind. Will we be made communists? Will there be child labor?

For now, I have my social networking. It saves me from emotional wreckage, so I don't suddenly become feral.