Why are We Friends?

I'm sending Facebook notes to a girl I use to really dislike to let her know I'm going to be in town next weekend. Like somehow over the years the slash and burn sessions became the badges of the life process, and bonded our lives. I don't know. Humans fool themselves about so much, and I'm not sure I really know what "forgiveness" means. What I do know is that time seems to mellow us out, and I actually do admire her, a LOT.

The social game can be compared to the annoying and sometimes boring repartee of a morning service or an evangelical dinner. I would never say such a thing! Mama, close your ears! But, on the other hand, I love playing the part, and social extortion has its benefits.

In my everyday, I like being real, and I prefer straight talk. But my vast treasure of friends are all so different, some have become so damn delicate, some already were. Which begs the never ending question of "Why are we friends?" The good side is they have been there for me when I've needed them, and I already know they will kick my ass if they want to. Am I only fooling myself? It at least gives me some comfort to know that I am needed, if only for something really weird and obscure.

When I get lucky enough to find love again, I expect my cynicism to subside, and my better self to once again take over. But, on the days the fog is just too heavy to see through, I simply perform the lines I've learned and dance the choreography I've memorized by sending notes to a girl I use to dislike to let her know I'm going to be around next weekend.

Tired in Work (an excerpt from 2008)

It seems that bad bosses and bad environments are the norm these days. Just ask anyone. I hate contract work. Aside from the long hours, including overtime, and no benefits, the job inevitably comes to an end, and you have to say goodbye to a bunch of people who have pretended to be your best friend for a number of months, even though you always knew they weren't. The best you can hope for is maybe they liked you, maybe they will contact you again, or maybe they will remember your name when the next project comes up. In the meantime, you haven't seen or spoken to your real friends in those months nor have you been able to engage in anything creative because you're always sleeping during your "extra" time.

I was not prepared for the 5000 or so people that crowded the center for work. Desperate, angry and sometimes violent. They lied on their applications, cheated on the math tests, and came in groups to try and intimidate me. Some never made it through high school and some could barely speak English. I was depressed. Depressed at the state of this United States. Depressed at my own demise. Depressed that even if I did help these people, they would end up hating me anyway. I don't like chaos. If I can create order within the chaos, I can survive it. But, there has to be some goal to be made, some process to help reach that goal. I so miss my old steady and "permanent" job!

I wouldn't say I learned the lessons I wanted to learn, but I did learn some lessons! LOL. I will do what I need to do to bring in money, but I don't have to like it, not one little bit! For now, I've turned on the hot tub, and switched on the big screen to the Highlander Marathon on the Sci-Fi channel. I have some serious relaxing to do, as I intend to take pleasure in watching Adrian Paul kick some ass as Duncan McLeod!

Last Day in L.A. Christmas 2009

(Okay, I promise this will be the last entry of my Christmas trip) I'm just challenging myself to write as much as possible, about EVERYTHING. So, I woke up with a feeling of relief on this day after Christmas. The holidays seem to make me tense. Too much, too fast, full coverage emotional shower.

The day started a little cloudy, but we made our way over to Malibu Bluff. More canyon. Different views, different colors, more rock showing. We stop to look and take photos. When we finally made it to the beach, it was a little windy and chilly. With time being a factor I decided not to drive directly to Malibu, but instead head down the PCH to Santa Monica.

The drive was like watching a travel reel. The landscapes, the different types of dwellings and the different levels of land over and around the ocean. As we got closer to Santa Monica I could see the pier and its Ferris wheel and roller coaster. We parked by the pier, just to the side of the beach. This beach is a really long, beautiful, clean and enticing one, AND it is PUBLIC.

The people surrounding us were very fascinating. Many Spanish and Asian descents here. But mainly good looking and very friendly. We stopped at a restaurant on the pier and had lunch. Fresh seafood. I had to have the combo platter which came with fresh oysters. After lunch, we walked down the pier and I picked up a few souvenirs to take home. Eventually we made our way back to the front of the pier where we did a Ferris wheel ride, which produced some great photos. Then we rode the roller coaster, TWICE. We made our way up the street to check out THE BOULEVARD. Wow. Lots of street performers. We stopped at this little shop to get frozen yogurt with fresh fruit. YUMMY! We walked around looking for a little while, then started heading back to the car.

Once back in Sherman Oaks, we played a "short" version of monopoly. The funny thing is, it just kept going, going and going. We finally had to stop so that I could try Guitar Hero. LOVED IT! At the end of the day, I was so tired I couldn't think about the fact I am going home tommorrow. Too Short, but Very Sweet. L.A. County, I LOVE YOU!

Christmas Day in L.A. 2009

CHRISTMAS! Turn all the colored lights on and get ready to open presents! The day started with those infamous ORANGE cinnamon buns from PILLSBURY! You know the ones ! There were so many more presents. We took turns opening. We made little piles. We took pictures. We listened to music. Then we cleaned up the wrappings and got dressed so we could head over to the dinner party. YAY!!!!! DING DONG! WE ARE HERE! Walking in presented a table beautifully set and ready for congregation, and in the front bay window a little Christmas tree that our hostess confessed putting up just that day. Other friends had arrived and the dog ran in to greet us. The room smelled delicious and the food was excellent and made to perfection. But it is the sweet potato casserole that I will remember! After dinner, the games were on! I was so sore at the end of the night from laughing so hard. It was a moment in time. A moment of joy, peace and LOVE. Not that I wanted to end this up like a Kincade card scene, but I call it like I see it!

Christmas Eve in L.A. 2009

The morning of Christmas Eve day we headed out to Topanga Canyon and went for a lovely hike. When we reached a rocky peak somewhere in the middle of the canyon, you could see the Pacific Pallisades out toward the west, and just past the community could be seen the Pacific Ocean. We had a little snack of cheese, crackers and grapes while basking in the beauty of the sunlit colors surrounding us, and eventually headed back down. On returning to the homestead, I started baking and decorating the Christmas cookies, which later became a project for all three of us after the other two finished working. That evening, my son made an amazing dinner of brown sugar glazed salmon and twice baked potatoes! I am not always a fan of how Salmon is prepared, but I really really enjoyed this dinner. After eating, we sang Christmas songs together with an acoustic guitar. Having sung the complete repetoire of common Christmas carols, we watched the Grinch and It's a Wonderful Life. Time is moving too fast, but tomorrow is Christmas. A day for presents and a dinner party with long time friends!

Christmas 2009 Second Day in L.A.

Being across the country in a different time zone didnt seem to matter yesterday, but I woke up at 4 AM L.A. time. I tried to go back to sleep, but as I lay there I realized I was listening to the sound of freeway traffic. Then I realized, it had never stopped. It was really warm and I had slept with the windows opened, so I vaguely remember that constant sound. Eventually I got up and made coffee, having about four cups as I watched the sun slowly rise. I was so excited to be in California that I just wanted to hit pots and pans together or do anything to get the household up and the day started! I had brought some recipes with me thinking we could make sugar cookies and decorate them. So I sipped coffee and stared out at the beautiful mountains in the background and the tropical foliage in the foreground. It was quite a peaceful beginning. Oddly enough, the day was mainly spent in the grocery store, then preparing cookie dough and doing prep work for our Christmas dinner party. There was girl's time getting a mani and pedi, then we all played around creating new verses to the 12 days of Christmas and watching videos created from Thanksgiving family footage. There was much laughter, and somewhere, a new video in the making.

Christmas 2009 On my way to L.A.

The day I left town, it was soooooo cold and of course, I had to be at the airport early. 5 AM. I had decided to take two carry on pieces since there had been so much trouble with lost luggage by the airline companies. That decision did however, turn out to be a real pain in the ass. But, it was good for a short trip. Airport security is horrible, I dread it every time I have to fly. 911 just really did a number on me. The flight wasnt all bad since I ended up sitting beside a well built, strawberry blond young man from Kansas City! He had grabbed my bags and thrown them into the storage bins with just a tip of his hat, then gestured for me to take my seat. I saw a few freckles, and I'm guessing he's about 25. YEOW! EH EM....My first stop was Milwaukee and I almost missed getting on the plane because they boarded early and I had made a bathroom stop. They rushed me on board, made us all put seatbelts on, then we sat for an hour and 1/2. It was actually snowing pretty hard, so they had to scrape the runways and de-ice the planes. My young man from Kansas City ended up on the aisle right next to me which made for another interesting flight. Having waited so long to get off the runway made me realize that I was probably going to miss my connecting flight. What would they do? Would I end up missing a day? GRRRR..... But when I arrived at Kansas City, the other plane had waited for us. The airline attendant at the gate didnt realize that though, and made about 12 of us go through the security check again! The Captain apologized and let us know that hot chocolate chip cookies were waiting for us, which I was really happy about because I hadnt eaten. The three plus hours it took to get to L.A. wasnt so bad washed down with a good cup of coffee and two chocolate chip cookies! We were supposed to get to see the Grand Canyon as we were going over, but we hit a storm and had to fly above it. I was bummed. But, when we came out of the clouds and started our decent to L.A. I was dumbfounded by the beauty of the San Gabriel mountain range and the snow capped mountains. Beautiful hues of blues and purples with a touch of orange. Very different than the Blue Ridge Mountains! So I arrived at 11:30 AM with the rest of the day ahead of me. My very gorgeous and talented son picked me up and we headed out on to the freeway. YIKE! FREEWAY IN L.A.! But I did get a great view of most of the county as we drove north to Sherman Oaks. Arriving at a very nice and comfy apartment, I dumped all my belongings and we headed out to have some lunch with his favorite girl. After lunch and a couple of errands, we all took a drive along Mulholland. Up and around the canyon road. My camera was clicking as if on auto pilot. I saw both sides of the canyon. Hollywood, Burbank, Universal City, Downtown L.A.....and Beverly Hills. The weather was pretty warm, but as we reached the outlook on the top side, night was beginning to fall and it was a little chilly. So we headed back down to home, hot tea and a movie. I fell asleep.